Trending: Mel Robbins "Let Them Theory"

In 2024, Mel Robbins released her book The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About, which quickly became a New York Times bestseller.

And whats the secret? Release control.

As Robbins puts it, if someone wants to walk away, let them. If someone doesn’t respond the way you’d hoped, let them. If someone shows you who they truly are, even if it’s disappointing or painful, let them. This mindset isn’t about apathy, it’s about creating a calm, intentional environment that protects your peace.

But that’s the hard part, isn’t it? Letting go of control. For many of us (especially those living with anxiety) control feels like the foundation of our peace. Or at least, the illusion of it. When anxiety stems from fear of the unknown, unpredictability, or instability, control becomes a kind of safety blanket.

And yes, control is necessary in some areas of our lives. That’s why a central goal in therapy, particularly when working with anxiety, is helping clients distinguish between what is within their control and what isn’t. The first step is identifying what’s truly ours to manage. The second is practicing the hard skill of acceptance. Accepting what is not.

Boiled down to its simplest truth: we can only control ourselves.

Our thoughts. Our reactions. Our words. What we wear. What we eat. How we live.

What we can’t control is anyone else. Their actions, their beliefs, their choices, the way they show up or don’t.

And this is where The Let Them Theory becomes a powerful tool. Once we truly understand that we have no power over others, we are invited to step into acceptance. We are invited to stop forcing, fixing, or proving. We are invited to simply…let them.

Let them not text back. Let them cancel. Let them talk about you. Let them misunderstand.

Let them walk away.

Because when we stop clinging, we reclaim something much more valuable: our energy, our time, and our lives.

In letting go, we aren't losing anything. We are returning, to ourselves. To our truth. To the relationships and experiences that are rooted in mutual care and respect.

When we stop gripping so tightly, we create space for what’s meant for us to actually find us. The moment you stop chasing what was never yours to hold, you begin to walk toward what is...a life that honours your boundaries, your becoming, and the quiet, steady freedom of finally letting go.